Saturday, April 23, 2016

Kids are resilient and making friends

Kids are resilient. In every aspect. They bounce back from broken bones, heart breaks and anything else life throws their way. My nine year old comes home one day in tears bc her beast friend said they "werent BFFs anymore", 12 hours later its all forgotten and they are planning a sleepover lol. As an adult, and a mom, that does not baffle me one bit. Its completely normal. But not for moms. Especially stay at home moms. We no longer *have* to deal with people daily (outside of our family that is). There are no classmates, co workers, casual acquaintances that you would allow to put you through the seesaw drama that tweens experience daily. If a friend slighted us in any way, like so many other things in life these days, they are replaceable. Now dont get me wrong, Ive seen some actions from *adults* that definitely are the international  cue to RUN. For the same reason. We no longer HAVE to deal with them, so we dont. But this makes it very hard to make and keep friends. We can look into the future and see the "what ifs" and weigh the consequences of putting up with toxic people. And some times its not worth it......But how many potential friends have we passed over because someone was just having a bad day???
Some of my closest friends and trust me, most weeks im a borderline hermit lol, are the ones i met by chance. The one i met because she locked herself out of her car and was stranded. Being the night owl i am, i was up to see her cry for help on a local page and drove to her rescue. That was our first meeting. Yes, in retrospect it could have gone horribly wrong but instead i made a good friend.
At this point in my life when im dealing with bucket lists and phrases like 'quality of life' being tossed around, I wish I had more friends. I wish my 'village' were bigger and at any point in time i could reach out and instantly have someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. Im hoping that yearning will surpass my natural tendencies to avoid potentially awkward situations and the risk of being tossed back into the "mean girls" high school mind frame that has overtaken many mommy groups.


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