Saturday, April 23, 2016

Bucket list

Bucket lists were all the rage several years ago. I always found them slightly morbid, even if they were the "30 things to do before 30" type. Even though i tend to plan to the extreme (because our family trip to Strawberry Festival" would be completely RUINED if i couldnt track down the kids coordinating strawberry outfits lol). But now im in that place in my life where im beginning to see the benefit. And making a bucket list, and accomplishing those set goals is a much easier way to 'get my affairs in order' than the alternatives.
So what goes on a bucket list??? Back packing across Europe or seeing Australia or the Alps would be awesome but its not attainable unless i could somehow figure out how to drag my doctor along. And theres no cheating on the bucket list. I cant say "watch my kids grow up and get married and in 80 years die of old age, peacefully in my sleep. here begins the practical bucket list journey, heavy on the crafty stuff lol.

1) Take the kids to the beach. Location of said beach is not important. The experience on the other hand is.

2) go camping :gulp: the kids have been begging to go for years, but sleeping outside just isnt my cut of tea. But i can do one night...I think.

3) make 'mommy' quilts and memory bears for the kids and michael. That way they will always have something to hold on to and snuggle.
*open to advice on said quilts as besides tshirt quilts and baby blankets i have very little experience.

4) Make and preserve 'life event' items for the kids. Baby blankets for their future children, cloth pad starter sets for the girls for when they need them, wedding day lingerie. Im praying the doctors are wrong and i have a looooooong life ahead of me. And if thats the case not only will i be ecstatic but those items will be needed one day anyways, even if its years down the line.

5)Write notes for Michael and the kids for birthdays, life events, holidays. Im not great with words but im praying God provides me with the correct ones.

6) Get the children involved in some activities that do not revolve around mommys doctors visits and holiday stays. Girl scouts, cub scouts, sports, etc

Thats all for now........

Kids are resilient and making friends

Kids are resilient. In every aspect. They bounce back from broken bones, heart breaks and anything else life throws their way. My nine year old comes home one day in tears bc her beast friend said they "werent BFFs anymore", 12 hours later its all forgotten and they are planning a sleepover lol. As an adult, and a mom, that does not baffle me one bit. Its completely normal. But not for moms. Especially stay at home moms. We no longer *have* to deal with people daily (outside of our family that is). There are no classmates, co workers, casual acquaintances that you would allow to put you through the seesaw drama that tweens experience daily. If a friend slighted us in any way, like so many other things in life these days, they are replaceable. Now dont get me wrong, Ive seen some actions from *adults* that definitely are the international  cue to RUN. For the same reason. We no longer HAVE to deal with them, so we dont. But this makes it very hard to make and keep friends. We can look into the future and see the "what ifs" and weigh the consequences of putting up with toxic people. And some times its not worth it......But how many potential friends have we passed over because someone was just having a bad day???
Some of my closest friends and trust me, most weeks im a borderline hermit lol, are the ones i met by chance. The one i met because she locked herself out of her car and was stranded. Being the night owl i am, i was up to see her cry for help on a local page and drove to her rescue. That was our first meeting. Yes, in retrospect it could have gone horribly wrong but instead i made a good friend.
At this point in my life when im dealing with bucket lists and phrases like 'quality of life' being tossed around, I wish I had more friends. I wish my 'village' were bigger and at any point in time i could reach out and instantly have someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on. Im hoping that yearning will surpass my natural tendencies to avoid potentially awkward situations and the risk of being tossed back into the "mean girls" high school mind frame that has overtaken many mommy groups.